Moving Forward!

Yes, I am alive!

I can't say "I'm back" though, for one main reason: there is no assurance that I am indeed back on the blogging, and if this time it is for real. The past three months were a whirlwind of learning and adjusting to new people, places, things... New life, perhaps?

What I can say is that my blogging would still be intermittent bordering on nil-nada-zilch. Aside from the fact that I rarely use a computer outside the office now, when I do, I always end up choosing to do other things. I love writing, especially if it's recording my daily life experiences, musings, and whatnot, but sometimes I find comfort in just keeping things reserved. At some point, I felt like I was on the verge of winning the Queen of Overshare crown. As much as it sounds like it's a royal award, I don't think I would like that.

Anyway, this will probably be the last of my journal entries...

For the year! Haha! I don't think I can ever let go of this blog. I've deleted a ton of things that contained years of memories; all those posts prior to the first entry of the rebirth of this blog, and I'm not about to put this all to waste. I will keep this like it's treasure.

I probably won't be writing as frequently as I did when I was in school; back when I had time to write endlessly because I always put off doing my homework. Haha! And I probably won't be writing as much about the details of my life, just because. I never really worried about security or stalkers or whatever; I always believed that I was responsible for everything I published and I still hold that idea that everything that goes on here will be accountable to me. It's just that life gets pretty mundane one moment and super exciting the next. I guess if I write about everything from both ends and everything else in between, I would run out of things to say, and I wouldn't want that. Or if I keep having words to say, which is mostly the case, I would become less interested in what life has for me.

I want to keep this blog for... I dunno. I don't wanna have a purpose for this anymore. Maybe this creature of habit finally found her kryptonite at breaking the writing habit, I don't know. It would be sad but rest assured that I will be coming back. To write about a new career opportunity, to write about family, to write about life and love, to write about the random things I always do, to write about what what drives me to go through day to day...

That said, I will be moving forward, with myself, with work, with family, with love... With life. I am now keeping a journal (yes, the old school one!) and so far have been unsuccessful at making the quota of writing one entry a day! Haha. Quantity doesn't deem to important nowadays when all that matters is that I write with the heart and the mind in the same direction.

Thank you, 2011. You have been an amazing, amazing, amazing year. No words for the greatness you have brought into my life. Welcome, 2012. I have high hopes with you!

And to you, my friend, here's to yet another year gone by and to another year to make hella awesome memories again! Cheers!

Quarter Life Musings

I wrote this earlier this afternoon while I was in the office, idling away into a void. There are days like such at work. Oh, but that's a day in my life lately. The amount of work spikes and dips like crazy, which solely depends on the demands of my boss. Not that he demands in-a-bad-way-demands for things to be done, he's a nice boss! *buyaaag, knocks on wood*

Anyway, it's the eve of my 21st birthday, and for the first time in weeks, I shall post an entry in my seemingly neglected cyberspace of a blog.

It's the eve of my 21st birthday and for the first time in weeks, I have decided to write down all my musings that have been on my mind for a couple of months now.

It has been just a little over a month when I defended my thesis; yes, my thesis that has plagued this blog for almost a year! Before my thesis term happened, I vowed to focus, focus, and focus! Having no more than three academic units that term when thesis started, I certainly had no other responsibilities, save for my beloved Green Media Group (GMG). Since then, I seem to have lost connection to the outside world. It's not like I lost my social life totally (because I admit I lost half of it) or that I suddenly decided to become a hermit or hide under a rock; it's more like living life entirely and solely for the completion of thesis. For seemingly endless months, thesis had been my life.

I won't delve on thesis any more since, like I said, this blog is full of it. If you track back until around say, September 2010 in Retrospective Perspective (archives), and you'll find the answers to all your questions. Haha!

Anyway, that part of my life is over and done, but the heartache lives on, insiiiide. TOTALLY KIDDING. (If you're someone I really get along with, admit it, you sang that part. Haha.) Seriously, now that it's over and done, I have been thinking about a lot of things: from the past, all those mistakes and learning from them; the present, how thankful or spiteful I have become toward a lot of things; and the future, what lies ahead as I linger in this uncertain present.

This isn't exactly "quarter life crisis" like what a few of my peers say that they're currently experiencing or recently have undergone. For one, I see no crisis in my situation; and two, let me save us the argument by saying that the average lifespan of a human being is about 80 years old, so I can definitely say that at 20, this is quarter life. Haha!

I have done way too many things in only two decades. Presenting, my life summary so far.

For the earlier part of my life, I may have only acted according to somebody else's will (say, my parents) because they say it's what's right or it's for the best. Also during my childhood, I probably just thought, acted, and spoke the way that society and culture expected me to. Looking back on that part of my childhood, I have no regrets. I was just a kid after all. I can even say that I have had a great childhood. You know, nothing tragic like homes catching fire or serious illnesses; nothing extraordinary like winning the lottery as well. I couldn't have asked for anything more when I was born into a loving home with a dad and mom who love each other unwaveringly to create a nurturing environment, and a brother who I share a love-hate relationship with; you know how siblings are.

When I finally learned to think, act, and speak out of my own volition, I also began to realize how complex the seemingly simple things have become. Maybe they were complicated to start with and I was just too young to realize it; or that they have always been pretty easy and I have grown to be the eccentric over-thinking being that I am. Either way, I have no regrets. I have done stupid things that cost me and some others their valuable time, effort, and energy; something I'm not very proud of, but we all have those skeletons in our closets, don't we? Yet I make sure to never let it surface. I have become a beacon of negativity during a short phase of my adolescent life. That's one thing I would prefer to be erased from my memory, but that would mean I won't learn from it.

I can proudly say that I am not that person anymore. Well, at least when it came to perspectives about life in general. Dad constantly reminds my brother and I about, beyond physics, how the law of attraction (The Secret by Rhonda Byrne) will keep us motivated about anything we set our minds to; and mom makes sure we don't just hear dad's words of wisdom but actually listen to it and live it.

The new chapter of my life when I started studying at the university back in 2007 was a turning point for most of what and how I am now. College changed me from that wallflower back in high school. 2008 didn't make much positive difference, though, making a big leap from awesome to plain ohmygod-why-is-this- happening. Gladly, 2009 was the year of recovery and recuperation, the year of steady! Come 2010, my college batch mates started graduating and gettin jobs, while I, completing my course curriculum requirements stayed at university and making good use of my spare time being immersed and trying to be useful to GMG. Thesis was set to commence that year as well. The rest is history, let's leave it at that. Haha, you know it when you know about it and my lips stay sealed; I'd love to give my emotions a break! Haha.

As for 2011... Brace yourself for the cliche. It is a rollercoaster ride.

Inexplicable level of stress. Too much unnecessary drama. Bewildering spontaneity. That and everything else! I'd be exaggerating but it's safe to say that everything that can happen to me to make my life interesting has probably happened already.

And most recently, my forthcoming graduation from the university, finally. October 15, 2011, mark it.

Highest of highs and lowest of lows, thirteen terms of going to and from both ends of the emotional spectrum is the best four years and three months of my life. For everything, regardless of anything, I am and will forever be grateful! Thank you, Lord.

Today, I say good bye and thank you for the irreplace much more and memorable twenty years! And cheers to you for being a proactive part of my life. Cheers to creating a lot more of those in the years to come!

See you around in this voyage to greatness!

Today's Specialty: Grilled Steak

We carnivores have our own preferences when it comes to how we want our steaks to be grilled: rare, medium rare, medium, or well done. Before that, though, we make sure we have the cut that is just right: filet, ribeye, strip, T-bone/porterhouse, or sirloin.

Today, 16 different cuts of steak (me included) were grilled. No matter how hard each steak cut wished to be grilled rare, the cooks wanted them all medium to well done. It's not exactly a bad thing for all of the steak cuts; how we were grilled actually helped to get the flavor out, almost to the point of charring. The bottom line is that each steak is cooked enough, ready for the October celebration!

Below: (1) Steaks aka thesis groups (2) condiments, garnish, flavoring aka thesis project (3) party time! [Wow, incoherent images in one collage. Tsk. I need more than my REM sleep tonight.]

Pardon the metaphor, it's a metaphor of the hungry! Haha.

My group's defense wasn't exactly exemplar or stellar but we couldn't be more satisfied about how everything fell into place, even if some needed a bit of adjusting. October graduation, here I come! :)

End Credits

I've been all about end credits today, more specifically, about thesis. My bestfriend-sister-thesismate and I finally got through most of the hurdles in this thesis-making marathon! Even our thesis mentor said we're 90% done, so YAY! No other way to express this overwhelming happiness, but YAY!

Non-thesis news: RED UNDERWEAR MYSTERY NO MORE!!!

One of my favorite cartoons, Shaun the Sheep, has this mysteriously funny ending credits. I've been searching for a YouTube clip of it for over an hour now and I dunno if it's just that I can't find the right keywords or that a clip of it isn't available anywhere. I'm sorry, I'll just have to describe it to you:

I have always wondered why, at the end credits of the show, the sheep are staring at the red underwear then at you then back at the underwear, and then at you, as the text scrolls up on the left side. Well, as much as I found it difficult to find a video, it was too easy to find a forum that discussed it. (Yes, it is that intriguing that people talk about it online. Haha! Oh and yes, there's a Shaun the Sheep forum!)

Anyway, my ultimate question has been answered, finally! Now I know! Hahaha!

That's interesting ending credits for you! ;)

Knowing that we're 10% away from when my life really begins, I can allow myself a good rest as I count sheep (woohoo pun intended) tonight!

One Hundred

I have a hundred ideas stuck in my head and I can't bring myself to start writing them down. I've been hibernating from blogging for the past week (or weeks?) for reasons not obvious but I'll say it anyway... God, I'm tired. I'm always tired when I get home after a long day of video editing. Last week was extra tiresome, especially last Thursday.

As in every university, students have involuntarily created a jargon that creates an identity unique to, for instance, La Sallians. One, among so many is Happy Thursday, a notion where each Lasallian's weekend starts on a Thursday night. At least that was the case for three-four years until this school year started wherein students were expected to have six-day class weeks instead of the four-day ones for which I'm very well used to. Haha. So anyway, I haven't had a Happy Thursday in a really long time but June 16, 2011 broke the uneventful Thursday streak!

DLSU Centennial Celebration: 100 Years of Lasallian Presence in the Philippines

DISCLAIMER: Given that this post is way late for a recap or at least to recount the day's events, please do not expect this entry to have such contents. As this blog has been a journal for a good number of years (yes long before this revamped version), this entry will contain no more than my insights and what not. Haha. Besides, there are too many news articles, personal blogs, and photos and videos by now, all documented that day fully. Simply, you cannot get them here, haha.

Anyway. Better a late post than to never post at all. Hah! So when I said that last week was extra tiresome, I wasn't even *this close* to exaggerating. I was up and about from dawn until a little after midnight the next day; oh, and not much sleep the day before that as well, if that's any clear visual of the situation, haha. So anyway, I was a part of the centennial celebration production team so last week was pretty much pandemonium in my eyes.

This is me, spotted by a good friend Camille Go, while at the stage, doing what I love to do. This photo is priceless! Hahaha.

I don't look very happy there, yes? Hah! Can you blame me? It's part of the happiness: all the confusion, stress, and pressure... It all boils down to getting through it all and feel happy after everything, realizing that once more, I made things happen. Well, it's not just me, duh, but simply being part of a big success, knowing how my contributions, huge or tiny, helped in managing the audience's experiences.

Like what our group's adviser said in our pre-production meeting: "This is not a simple production or show we're doing on Thursday. It's more of a big production where we manage the experience of our audience." (Well, that's not verbatim because he talked too fast, but that's the gist. Haha.)

This was the grandest production that ever happened in my life, YET... And probably my last with the Green Media Group. :') *sniff* I have shared a spectrum of emotions with the group I considered my family in the university for four years, the group with which I built my world around. Let this entry be my medium to express how thankful I am for what GMG and CAO has given to me; trust, knowledge, and experience.

Thank you to everyone who believed I can do things. Thank you also to everyone who doubted that I could, because I think I just got better and stronger. :> Haha! No, really, I can't imagine what has become of me now if not for GMG; not that I'm a big somebody now, but I know that I can break boundaries and still know my limits.

I have been given the rarest of opportunities to serve and lead. I may not yet be the person I want to be but it's all in the works. You have trusted me a hundred percent, expect that I give back to you a hundred times more.

The Final Wrap

"It's a wrap!"

You have to know how amazing that sounds. I've been saying the same phrase with the same amount of energy and conviction for six different days. Today, I overflowed with determination and hope that it will be the last time. I am confident that we have enough material to work on so that this extended time for our thesis completion will finally happen.

Although, I can never be too sure, especially when it comes to our thesis adviser's assessment of our finished product; the project that has been in the works for too long, in my honest and semi-bitter opinion, haha. Time to make this video super great! I pray that God sends down the Holy Spirit to guide us in every step that we make from now on; every minute detail. May Jesus live in my heart and keep me strong, confident, and determined... Now and forever!

Thank you to today's amazing crew: Gio San Pedro, Kay Adre, and AJ Cabrera. I'll speak for Meryl Algenio when I say: Thank you and we deeply appreciate all your help today! We love you!
Please, let this be a wrap. Let this be THE WRAP! Amen!

No Day But Today

As the 2005 hit song (Kung Wala Ka - Hale) goes:

Natapos na ang lahat, nandito pa rin ako.

As I gather from my friends' Facebook and Twitter updates, this should be the night that I become ecstatic as I jump up and down with delight and joy as I view my grades online for the last time. But this isn't that night.

I can't wait.

June 2011 Graduation

APRIL FOOL'S!!!

Holding On

Whenever I complain or consider giving up (but not really), I hear from my family and friends the overused clichés that are: "Konting tiis na lang!" or "Malapit na! Kaya yan!" or "Hang in there!"

Given the Chairman's recent adjustment of my life plan (The Adjustment Bureau reference), I can only shrug my shoulders and reply: "Well, konting tiis pa pala." or "Malayo pa, pero one at a time. Kakayanin." or "That's what I've been doing; I'm gonna hang on some more."

When you've pretty much planned your life and some undesirable circumstances try to mess with it, you're up against the natural flow of fate. Or whatever it is that's trying to set your life on track. Sometimes it's just you, but you know, you can't have everything within your reach all the time. This time, it's out of my hands.

So I've press-released to my family and closest friends that I'll be finally graduating in June 2011, and suddenly, we had to defer our thesis for another term. So I won't be graduating in June, as planned; and I shall wait for October to get my hands on that college diploma. Who knows, we might be able to produce one hell of a thesis video as we are given more time to perfect it. I felt broken and devastated but I'm back on my feet and I have more heart and motivation to still be in the race.

Because really, there's nothing more to hold on to but my own determination, hard work, and positivity.

Indie Un-Film 2011

Are you ready for a new perspective?
March 19, 2011
SM Mall of Asia, Cinema 1
Public screening at 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Awarding ceremony at 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM
Ticket price: P200

Here are the finalists for the Indie Un-Film 2011!

Learn more about Indie Un-Film!

Website | Facebook | Twitter

See you there!

Go, Shoot!

Yes, thesis-related entry. Don't skip this, no ranting this time!

My thesis group, Working Lunch Productions, finally got the "go" we so longed for from our thesis mentor last night. We literally exhaled a sigh of relief; a loud one, at that. Meryl can attest to that, haha.

And just tonight, David texts us about showing us something so we should go online right away. Here, take a look at this and tell me one good reason why I shouldn't get the least bit excited about shooting!

Thanks to Hannah Adriano for the logo, and I assume, Michael Pujol and David for this animation!

Facebook Is Hiring!

I was playing my current Facebook Application game addiction: CityVille (see my beautiful town below, hihi)

when the page freezes and is suddenly redirected to Facebook's Careers page.

I don't know if I clicked on something or it was all automated that I was brought to that page. I just find it odd that I never really considered working for an internet-based company. (Not that I'm already employed in a non-internet-based company now. Haha! Just something my internalizations might have missed.)

I remember one of the topics we had in my Organization Theory class(es), the virtual organization. I wonder if Facebook is that way. Maybe I should read up on it, yes? I never really gave it much thought anyway. It's time to know. Haha. So anyway, I browsed through it and I realized that I could fit into the Communications & Public Policy department;

I'd like to think I write fairly well hehe, and my four years of college education is on communication, in bulk. Wala lang, interesting, what with all the practicum-hunting I should seriously be doing and all, it seems worthy to be given some thought. I mean, look at the openings! Isn't it Org Comm enough? ;)

Career High

Academic Year 2009-2010, Second Term, was when I hit the lowest GPA. I was really lazy then; I lacked the motivation and I got into a lot of things that interested me more than school did. That term was really fun but the GPA I got wasn't fun at all! After that, I vowed: NEVER AGAIN!

This term, I hit career high. It's Dean's List-worthy, after all. I was a Dean's Lister for only two terms in my frosh year. That's it. Everything had been pretty much a struggle after that, what with majors and all. *sigh* Given that I only have thesis and one major class for this term, it's only right that I get the grade I have wanted for a long time: DL-worthy with a GPA of above 3.0. But wait, there's more! Haha. Had I enrolled 12 units this term, I would definitely qualify for the Dean's List! First Honors, at that: 3.667. WHAT UP? However, had I enrolled 12 unites this term, I might have not reached that high a grade. Haha. But I'm still very grateful that all sleepless nights and stressful mornings have finally paid off.

Here's to a merry, merry, merry Christmas vacation! CHEERS!

Tomorrow, I shall formally close this term and fly to my hometown! Time to leave school behind and enjoy my limited time with family and friends back home! CHRISTMAS BREAK CHALLENGE: All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go. I decided to leave my laptop and planner here in Manila. Davao time will be school- and work-free!

Happy holidays!

Sweet Pre-Christmas Treat

I've waited for such a long time for this night to happen: The Chicas Christmas Dinner! Since Kay, Lexie, and Yanee have graduated, Meryl and I, despite the free time we have because of thesis and just one class, I rarely get to see the three. Sure there have been coffee and lunch meetups in between, but it's nothing like the grand reunion that happened tonight!

Can I just say that we are oozing with cheese? We decided to dine at Chef d'Angelo at Glorietta 5. It comes with memories, you know. Well, at least the one at Glorietta 2 before the place got bombed. Haha. If Meryl remembers it right (which I'm sure is pretty accurate), the Chicas had lunch at Chef d'Angelo during our first term break when we were in first year college. Hihi, see, how apt a place for reuniting! Anyway, we had coffee and desserts as Bo's afterwards, where we did our traditional and never planned exchanging of gifts! Bonus, bonus: cute barista/busboy! Hahaha! Boy, have we all grown. Ang lalandi na, kaloka! Haha!

Photos from Kay's camera! Thank you, Beggie!

My "since we'll all be corporate girls soon, here's a business card case and key chain" gift to everyone! Haha.

I particularly don't fancy this group photo of ours (even though the cute Bo's busboy took it HAHA like it matters) because I look crop-able. Like, in a bad way. Look how estranged I seem. Just saying.

Ah, this one, I like! I LOVE THESE GIRLS TO DEATH. No question.

It's always awesome to be with these girls. College would never have been this memorable without Kay, Meryl, Lexie, and Yanee. More of these soon? Definitely.

The End of The Beginning

Officially done with THESIS A! The meeting/orientation or pep talk/party or what have you that we had with our thesis mentor this afternoon was overwhelming. It made me realize how much I have to be thankful for since, yun na nga, after all the painstaking days and nights trying to perfect our proposal, well, I can't say that it's perfect per se, thereabouts.

And as it all ended, it's time to welcome the holidays with a merry cheer! (Whuts.) And after that, I come back to reality that the end of this term is only the beginning of a life-altering academic challenge!

Working Lunch Productions, lunchmates, we've only just begun! Let's go for gold! *wink, nudge*

P.S. / O.T.

I'm quite sad that the Philippines lost the first leg of the AFF Suzuki Cup to Indonesia by 0-1. It's the first time that I have ever been excited about a football game and we lost. *sigh* Anyway, we just need to score two goals on the second leg and we're good to go!

Almost Done

Last academic class for the day, week, month, term, year, degree, ever... Over!

Steady-awesome day.

(Photos to follow. Nothing much, just something out of boredom. And shutter happy-ness. Hihi. Thanks to Meryl in advance!)

I Love College

I know I've been wanting out for quite a while now, but thinking about the responsibilities that await... Nah. I don't ever wanna rush college. Ever. Sure, there'd be times I'd fee like shiz and just give up. I know in the end it's not that easy after college anyway.

There's never an easy way out of anything. However, though, there will always be temporary bliss; especially when you're with people you love!

Orgcom, cheers!

(Photo by Therese Ong @ Rooftop, 7:00ish PM)

College friends, drinks, memories! Cheers to college!

The Wait

... is almost over!

I mean, I waited one full year, three extra terms, for this.

I hope all goes well. With this term's thesis proposal paper and last academic course, and a major at that, and next term's thesis production and practicum. Let this be it!

And can I just add? The "Final Page" of the enrollment process has never meant this much, that it felt so real, until today. LET THIS BE IT! THESIS IT!

Another Round, Anyone?

October

was

ridiculously

awesome.

I

sure

hope

November

can

top

that!

Enough said.

Slack No More!

I am a student. I am an artist. I am a leader. In all, I am a student-artist-leader.

Being a student isn't much of a choice, when I look at it now. I have to get quality education to be able to achieve at least the practical things in life, with convenience. Being an artist... Well, I'm not the conventional artist you have in mind; not even the one I had in my mind! Being part of a media and production organization under the office that advocates culture and arts made me an artist in my own terms. As William Ernest Henley wrote in Invictus: "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Whether or not my student organization decided that I was leader material after all, I am a leader in more ways than one. In the end, they did decide that I could lead; so lead, I do try.

Given all those, I should at least be at my best always. Don't get me wrong, I try.

It frustrates me that I only realized how a slack I've become (thesis-wise) after my thesis group got approved on the first reading. Sure, it was all overwhelming at first. The happiness was like drugs, I tell you; not that I do drugs at all, haha! Anyway, the happiness, I think it sent useless fumes to my brain and told me to hold off everything about thesis. Time wasn't wasted at all anyway when I focused on my only class for the term. That went well, too, so it's all good. It's just so frustrating that we had a three-week (or so?) head start for research and all that paper stuff!

Now that the storm's gone (literally; goodbye, Juan and Katring), everything seems to be calming down. Things are falling into place, one by one, the way it always does! I just hope I don't let opportunity slip away again. Like what David said this afternoon: "When the opportunity's there, you just have to get it!"

So farewell, slacker vibes! Leave me be! Come to me, productivity!