Doing What You Love

There are certain things that seem ordinary to a lot of people but not to you. It ignites the tiniest spark of interest that grows into this uncontrollable wildfire of ideas that results into an overwhelming mass of motivation and eventually, fulfillment.

Most people won't give a hoot that I love exhausting myself with backstage and media productions. In fact, some might hate such activity. No matter how much hassle it is when interspersed with college and family responsibilities among other things, I do it for the love of giving into what makes me happy. Sure, the demands can be improbable, but that doesn't mean I can't improvise to make the tasks possible; tried and tested, my friend: four years! I lived through four years of bureaucracy by bending but never breaking rules because I know I will only be truly happy to know that I tried and risked, at the least. I do what I do because I love how people of all walks of life become a part of my success and fulfillment.

By doing what you love, you add a little extra effort in and the inevitable extra exhaustion hits rock bottom to the point of power depletion. Doing what you love makes all the effort and energy spent worthwhile! The payoff is always the trophy and gold medal to your seemingly endless marathon, knowing that from the gun start, you have been determined to breeze through it all to the end.

Sometimes, though, I feel that what I do is thankless. (Believe you me, I'm not yearning for credit where it's un/due; four years with my school org taught me that. It's just that I'm a person, too, and I hit rock bottom sometimes. Haha.)

I worked as production assistant today, to a project that my friend is producing, care of the production company she's currently connected with. And I realized that the thanklessness I felt/feel is not always the case with the industry I'm moving around in. It depends with the client/people you're dealing with, the weight of the workload, and the massive amount of pressure upon your shoulders.

In contrast to what I experienced with previous projects (I'm not about to specify where these projects took place and who are involved, haha), today taught me that regardless of your passion in what you do, external forces (such as people's understanding of your task, purpose, or whatnot) determine the intensity of fulfillment that awaits you in the end.

When people understand what, why, and how you do what you love, you're on the way to trashing the idea that your productiveness equates to nothing more than just exhaustion! Ultimately, just make sure you do it out of your own free will and not obligation or coercion. What matters is what's practical and I say practical is whatever makes your heart leap for joy. ;)

Lola Fridays: My Version of FFF

Two nights ago, I came home from one of the happiest and most carefree Fridays I've ever had in such a long time. I'm not much of a party-goer, as in those held in clubs because it's dark and noisy and just too high-maintenance a lifestyle for the life I'm used to; laid-back, chill, and simple. Nothing against my party-people friends, I would love to join them each chance I get but I'm just not happy. Haha.

Speaking of happiness, I was with a few of my best friends last Friday: Joh, AJ, Ivy, and Jacob. And man are they party people! Haha! It made me wonder if I somehow caused them a rare phenomenon that particular Friday night: "Lola Friday." (Cabrera, 2011.)

We met up at Greenbelt and played at Timezone, just like high school kids. We talked and jeered like college kids (well, Ivy and I are still in college haha). We bunked and settled at Chubby's Rib Shack, ate tons and drank so few, like the mature young adults that we are.

Joh, the ever so lovely best friend that I eternally miss!

This is me and the equally fabulous Ivy and Jacob!

Not in photo, everyone's boyfriend, AJ, who happens to be credited for these Instagram photos from AJ's new iPhone 4 White! So nice, I'm so jealous!

Welcome to my own FFF. Fiamma Fresh Fridays. Fun Friday with Friends!

Having a great time does not end where differences begin. I say, more Lola Fridays! ;)

Stefanoverload!

I can't get over it. I think it's the raging hormones, or I'd like to think so. I really hope it's just the hormones that's making me act like this; all hyperactive and crazy. I really hope so because otherwise, there's something seriously wrong with me now. Haha.

So I decided to just make an entry entirely about Stefano Langone, American Idol Season 10 contestant. His eyes, his lips, his voice... His everything... Come on, can I not go gaga over him? No, I can't. I go gaga each time he performs on stage. No, make it almost every time I lay my eyes on him! Haha, okay, OA na.

So here are some of my favorite performances of Stefano:

Lately - First time I heard it, I thought, "Whoa. Brave thing to do with the arrangement." It seems odd but looking at what kind of performer her is, we all know it works for him! ;)

If You Don't Know Me By Now - He sings with so much soul and passion that I bleed. No, not literally. Haha. *SIGH* I really, really, really, really (as in ever ever ever ever haha) would like to know Stefano by now. Haha.

Hello - Yes, baby boy. It's you I'm looking for. Haha!

Tiny Dancer - Voice range, amen.

Closer - THIS. IS. THE. PART. WHERE. I. BREAK. AWAY. FROM. ALL. SANITY. Y U SO FINE, MAN? I will come closer and I will marry you. Haha!

Oh, look at that, almost every performance is my favorite. Hahaha. Steffanoverload stops now. Bzzzt.

On a different note, Casey Abrams has something that belongs to me when he did Harder to Breathe: MY HEART. Haha! Not only because he did it so well and so fun and sexy and entertaining all at the same time but also because it's a Maroon 5 song (and you have to know I am head over heels in love with Maroon 5) and Casey didn't murder it; he owned it! Oh and that kiss? Tsk. You sneaky boy, you. *smug* Haha!

It's gonna suck big time if Stefano leaves tonight. I love him no matter what. Haha, okay, enough with my fangirliness.

Text Message Day

I really have no idea what to write right now. Last night, February 13, I had some things on my mind I wanted to blog about on a day like Valentine's Day. I was too sleepy and I thought it would be more apt to write about V-Day on the day itself; like, how mine went and all.

This morning, I received several text messages from this boy that went well with the day's "theme" but not with the days tasks. It's really confusing. A bit stressful, too, given all the things I needed to accomplish. The text messages turned into an invitation to dinner on Friday, yay! About time. Haha! Anyway, it was the usual vague conversation but at least we got one detail right. Only for it to be retracted because of inconsistencies with his schedule, which was a bummer; but he did try to redeem himself right away. We settled on a casual Thursday dinner.

That said, I can't deny the giddy feeling that's been fluttering in my tummy. Hihi.

That said, I'm not easily swayed. This morning, I sent a really mushy text message to the best girl friends that a girl can ask for! And I stand by what I said, which I sadly can't retrieve from my phone with such uhmayyyzing performance; try, deleting messages on its own. *_*

My friends (or sisters?) taught me how to be thankful for what I have and not yearn for what I don't or can't have. Aren't they just the best? :) You wouldn't know, but I tell you, they simply are. ;)

Ugly title.

Emotions On Overdrive

You know when a girl has this time of the month that the red flag is raised? Based on observation, hearsay, and experience, that's when the girl becomes too emotional and sensitive over the smallest things. Well, my hormones must be running wild! See, I recently finished that part of the cycle, okay TMI, but I can't get any more ridiculous today!

I stayed home all day, partly because I had no business in school or elsewhere. I was drained from yesterday, too. But for the most part, I was (still am) scared to bits about the recent bus bombing incident at Ayala Ave. So I stayed in my pajamas, had n bowls of cereals, and watched newly downloaded movies.

Emotions On Overdrive (EOO) Symptom # 1:

I laughed too much while watching Easy A. Well, props, if it really was that funny. I loved it! Also, I got too excited about Olive's wit and the whole wordplay thing going on. I felt so down for her when things got really messed up. Like, come on, Cee. What up?

EOO Symptom # 2:

I cried over a random scene in Across the Universe when the movie barely started laying out its plot. I thought I recovered well when I began to sing with the cast to the tunes of The Beatles. No, bad recovery, even. I bawled my eyes out some more during Jude and Lucy's forcied means of separation.

While enjoying my movie-watching, Mom alerts me about an incident in one of the residential condominiums currently under construction at Paseo de Roxas. Construction workers were killed from a gondola fall of almost 30 floors.

EOO Symptom # 3:

Add to the fact that the recent incident was spine-tingling, I can't believe I got goosebumps all over my body. I can't help but be all jumpy and jittery at the smallest things. Makati City has been the hot spot for bad news lately.

Last year's season of American Idol bored me. After the new set of judges for American Idol 10, though, I got myself quite hooked again. Plus, I expected that talents were running low, so I felt rejuvenated to see that this year, a lot of hopefuls can still bring it! Take Chris Medina from the Wisconsin auditions.

EOO Symptom # 4:

Come on. It's not only his tragic story, which I think will be bashed by haters very soon; say a couple of hours. He sang the most beautiful of all songs in my life's soundtrack. He sang it really well with his own twist. I'm the The Script was proud of him. And how can I not shed a tear when he said, "What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?" I hope men in all forms and walks of life were listening.

My eyes are too puffy now.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

[Automated post! Since I'm probably too busy having the time of my life back in Davao where my family and friends who I love are at. And besides, I don't have internet connection. Haha.]

To share the holiday cheer, here's an e-Christmas card for all of you!

(Please click link!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

I Love College

I know I've been wanting out for quite a while now, but thinking about the responsibilities that await... Nah. I don't ever wanna rush college. Ever. Sure, there'd be times I'd fee like shiz and just give up. I know in the end it's not that easy after college anyway.

There's never an easy way out of anything. However, though, there will always be temporary bliss; especially when you're with people you love!

Orgcom, cheers!

(Photo by Therese Ong @ Rooftop, 7:00ish PM)

College friends, drinks, memories! Cheers to college!

Musings And More Musings

My legs are still sore from yesterday. It was such a long day! I went to: a meeting, a digital film screening, a lunch date and bonding with my guy best friend, an orientation for our office's sports fest, a celebratory bonding escapade with a few GMG, a theater decorum video shoot, a dinner date with an old friend and my other guy best friend, a meet up with a few course mates. There was so much walking around involved. I was dead tired when I got home.

And today, I wasn't able to sleep in like I usually do on weekends. I had to go wherever my family planned to go because they said so. Agghh. Dad had leather car seat covers customized, brother bought new shoes again. As form Mom, she wasn't much of a spender today, as well as I. Maybe we have other plans for tomorrow. Haha.

In line with yesterday and today's events, I muse:

• I missed Bru a whole damn lot. I got to see him for a couple of hours or so yesterday and of course, it was super bitin! More soon, I hope.
• Give me one day with the right set of people and I could rapidly kill a body organ.
• We never seek for anything that's already there because obviously, it's just simply there. But we never stop seeking for anything because maybe that's how we were made to function. How else is the act of seeking significant if we get satisfied with what's here and now? (I think I lost my train of thought after the first sentence of this soup-y bullet.)
• Over dinner, AJ, Laine, and I had a meaningful topic for conversation: How do you know that you really, really, really like somebody? Like, how can you gauge? Isn't it solely subjective? We all had different takes on the issue and we never found a conclusion to it. Maybe it shall be an open question forever. Or at least until we're sure about it anyway. Hmm, food for thought.
• My friend Tracy asked me last night how I was, after not being able to see each other regularly since she and almost everyone else already graduated: "Kamusta ka?" And I, "Uhm, okay lang. Just school-bahay. Haha! You?" She said, "Wala, steady. Uhm, work. So, love life?" And I, "Huh! Wala, boring nga eh!" And Tracy goes, "Kahit crush?" Me, "Eh... Wala talaga. I mean, like, meron pero walang balak. Walang plano." Then AJ chimed in, "Walang pag-asa?" And I go, "Yes! Exactly!" And Tracy wins the conversation with, "Ang meron lang tayo ay wala!" Actually, I just wanted to say how I think she's so right on so many aspects.

To My Lola

Today is my Lola Gloria's second death anniversary. The photo above was one of the last photos I've had with my Lola when we came home to Davao for Christmas, year 2007.

It was unfortunate that she had to pass right before my brother's 14th birthday. Everything that year (2008) had been a blur after her death. I grew up with my Lola living with us; all seventeen years of my life. It was hard enough to leave and let go when my family had to move to Manila (for everyone's convenience.) How difficult it was to have to go through not saying a proper goodbye to Lola before she passed was beyond words. A lot of things changed after that; things about me, about the family, and even my perspective. I can't say it was for the better or worse, just that her death entailed a lot of changes.

It has been two years now. I am astounded at how it seems like ages ago when the feelings inside my chest make it seem so recent. I know that my Lola is in a wonderful, happy, and peaceful place now. She had a life well lived, surrounded by love from her ever so loving husband, Lolo Pons; from her children, all eight of them; from her grandchildren; and great grandchildren.

An entry to pay tribute to her may never be enough for her loving kindness and light disposition in every aspect of life.

I miss you so much, Lola! Please continue to be with us and guide us always just like the way you did before. I love you!

Give and Take

You know how life turns out to be a shiz-hole for a time that it feels like eternity and you can no longer find reason to be utterly happy? That's how I've been for the past week. Or weeks? With the org responsibilities piling up and the midterms coming up, I have never felt so stressed in my life. Add to that, I found out recently that my favorite uncle has been diagnosed with lung cancer. What is stress, right? I finally found the Achilles' Heel of my dependence on Stresstabs. There can never be too much tabs when there is so much stress. What. Hahaha. K.

Today has been pretty much a give-and-take day.

It started out as me being all grumpy cos I didn't wake up early enough to review for my two quizzes scheduled for the day. Despite the cold shower, hearty breakfast, and running late, my eyelids wouldn't stop drooping! And my mind tells me that my body is too tired that it's numb and that I feel extremely exhausted. (LIFE TAKES!) Like I said, I've never felt so tired in my life. I concude such because I had to stop by 10-Q, a convenience store along Taft, to down 180ml of ionized energy drink so I could stay awake, if not focused. I can't possibly screw up either quizzes. True enough, I didn't feel like dozing off the whole morning! (LIFE GIVES!)

Feeling pretty much alive, I go up to the office and find that it's crowded with so many newly accepted trainees! I planned to review for my next quiz but it didn't happen. Too much people! Well, not that it's a bad thing; we did want to hoard on newbies this term. (LIFE TAKES! LIFE GIVES!)

I headed out to meet Joh and AJ during my lunch break. Joh told me over the weekend that she bought something for me because it reminded her of me. ADORABLE, YES? Mini magnets in the form of my favorite creature on earth!

Look! It's on our fridge door already! Heehee. Oh, and yeah, I had to include that photo of my Lola, brother, and I in the frame. Hee.

I found out that she sat in AJ's Art Appreciation class wherein they made pretty little collages. She probably had nothing to do and there were art materials available. Look what she made for me! This is why Joh makes a perfect girlfriend. Too bad I'm interested in a perfect boyfriend. Haha! But she's an awesome bestfriend, that's for sure.

Snapping back to reality, I took a flabbergasting 100-point exam. (LIFE TAKES.) I head to the office in time to prepare for the highly awaited GMG General Assembly and Newbie Orientation. We hoarded new trainees. I'm not sure if it's a good thing, though, but I hope it will be. I had my apprehensions but as soon as we started, everything flowed as if they have been determined to happen in such way. (LIFE GIVES!)

We were... CROWDED. I'm not sure but I think all there were more than 50 of us crammed in a 45 seating capacity class room. Hahaha.

I forgot the title. Red Rover? Haha. Mimi's game.

Sir Brad giving a pep talk to the Green Media Group.

LIFE GIVES. Life gives a lot. When things turn bland from mundaneness, bitter from stress, and sour from ugly experiences, life gives. I waited and endured patiently, and alas! It all ends sweet after all.

001 to 100: DLSU Centennial Countdown Celebration

SKIP THIS PART. Not important. Proceed to photos. Thanks. Haha.

I had a humongous role and an extremely easy task. What could have gone wrong? Unfortunate circumstances, that's what. The effect of that mishap wasn't a major disaster, I think. But of course, having done productions for quite a time now, I knew that it wasn't excusable. Once the production/show/event has started, there never can be room for mistakes. Enough vagueness, it isn't helping.

Overall, the program was a success. It wasn't an ordinary program; it marked the day that De La Salle University counts down to the University's 100th year. I'm very drained. This entry is ugly; it falsifies my knowledge and competence in the field of writing. I don't normally write this way. La la la.

After the countdown, I was literally a walking zombie. So here are photos:

A photo from last night during the one and only technical run that the entire production had.
*HINT* My simple task with an enormous role: Babysit and guide our La Salle Greenhills representatives, Kevin and Roniel. Photo taken from inside the sacristi of the Most Blessed Sacrament Chapel.
While the show had been running smoothly since the flash mob dance, Stage Manager, Sir Brad, takes a breather and sits with the Lasallian Youth Orchestra. Congrats, Sir!
Countdown done! Time to party! (Look at all that confetti. I've never seen so much in my entire life!)

© Meryl Algenio 2010

WE ARE ROCK SOLID. I love you, EB loves. ♥ All drained but all smiles, still. (I just noticed how forced my smile is. Eckh. Haha.)

© Andrew Pamorada 2010

We are the Green Media Group. We make things happen.

Welcome to Finals

Finally, Lasallians will soon face the wrath of the stresses of finals week. It may not be the prettiest sight one's hopes and wishes can muster but I definitely would choose that over any other academic week. Third term felt so long, my oh my. I don't like the idea of final exams because I like projects, papers, presentations, and deadlines better. I'm weird like that, I know.

I was supposed to see my best friend, Bru, and a good friend, Carizza, fresh from Davao City today. Unforeseen circumstances and unlikely mishaps got in the way. I'm sad. But! The weekend is beckoning! Hopefully, they'll have time between their debate tourneys to squeeze in some bond-with-Cee-time. I want to make this meet up happen. I miss them both so bad! So there, I'm sad. But not sad enough to shun away how great my afternoon and evening went!

Even though I'm missing two people, I had an awesome time with another set of two people anyways. My other best friend (yes, I have quite a list of them), Joh, and my lover-friend (no malice on the title), AJ, are a match made in awesome-land. We went to Greenbelt, despite the lack of purpose (which was supposed to be the meet up), and just had fun. I couldn't say more. Us three are crazy. Hahaha.

ANYWAY. I have a packed weekend ahead of me. Projects, papers, and a presentation to work on are on an OC-made time block. apart from that, I have org term-end responsibilities to tend to in between study time and examination days. I normally would have gone on a serious rant-fest given this scenario. I'm actually surprised how calm and collected a state I am in. I'm looking forward to an extremely busy-but-fun-in-between weekend.

I'm loving my life. :)

Not Bitter, Just Annoyed

I made a promise that I would never write out of impulse because I can't take them back and there would be so much to regret over in the end. This time can be an exception because it's about something I'm sure of, no matter what happens. For the sake identity censorship, yes, I'm nice like that, I'll leave out their names and will try to be as less vague as possible.

I saw an exchange of comments over Facebook between a boy and a girl. The girl posted a video where only the boy was tagged. I'm certain that it's something I'm not supposed to see because of reasons I'd rather keep to myself. So anyway, the video was apparently about the girl greeting the boy a happy monthsary (see, that's not even a word. Haha.) The boy goes loco, OMG OMG thank you, I love you, I love you, I love you. La la la. And so the girl went, blah blah blah, I love you, too!

And then the boy goes I love you one more time.

Okay, I'm not bitter because I don't have a boy I can say that to. Believe me, there are times that I long for someone but I'm totally fine having none at the moment. Anyway, the point is, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed neither at the way they conversed, nor with the million I love yous that I felt was empty, but at the fact that they do not have an inkling of an idea what the hell love means. I'm sure about this, okay? Fine, so what if they're just both 15 (clue right there), I've said those words to someone when I was just 14. But then, years later, I came to situations and experiences where I realized that I didn't mean it then because it was not love after all.

Who am I to talk about love that I reserve my right to be irked at "false" love? And who am I to say what's love and what love is not? I do not know who I am to say so, I cannot tell if I have the credibility, but I sure as hell know what love felt like. I know the boy, he doesn't know what love is.

Magnetic

I saw this while I was clicking around Tumblr. From a friend's Tumblr to another to someone random to a fan blog to another random person to this. ;)

Anonymous asked: Couple years ago, I fell in love with a girl, I'm a girl. Even before that, I felt the pull towards both sexes, but I never really acknowledged the fact that I could entertain thoughts of being lesbian, or bisexual, at least. Me and the girl dated but there was never an official "us" because I think we were both too chicken to make the first move. LOL, losers, sorry. Anyway, so I was madly in love with her more than my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with couple of years before the girl and I dated. We have never engaged in anything sexual, but it was more like an emotional relationship; we loved mutually. We weren't vocal about it cos I'm not out, and she's... Well, she never says anything about her sexuality but you can say that what we had in common was that we made people raise eyebrows. Heh-heh.

My point is that some of my friends say that I'm not bisexual until I engaged in a sexual relationship with a girl. Doesn't the loving-her-more-than-I-loved-him count? Truth be told, I had more carnal desires for her than with him. They conclude that I'm only bi-curious.

It does count. Your story is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Nothing of importance, really. I couldn't explain why I felt the urge to post this, either. You know those times when there's this weird magnetic pull around you? That's exactly what this felt like. La la la la la.

Single and Lovin' It

Eh. Photo text fail. Hahaha. So, I was asked to define love:

Love is when you need not somebody else to keep you fulfilled. Instead, it is when you are more than willing to share that fulfillment with another.

Happy Valentine's day, happy lunar new year! :)