Despite Everything

• Most convenient supplement to the inexplicable: OMG!
• Most used and censored acronym: WTF?
• Less harsh version of WTF: WTH?!
• Whatever, giving up soon: FML.
  

Despite everything I'm going through right now, and I'm not kidding, it's A LOT and it's getting on my nerve already, I have this acronym to live by...

[Image acquired from someone's Tumblr from way back when I can't remember. Haha.]

Oh. Not a problem. This is me. I always will be! ;)

Kudos to self-empowerment? Hahaha! So my drama-rama the past few days were triggered by kicking and screaming hormones. Just like what I expected.

Two big week-end-er events that happened today:

1. Media Entrepreneurship elective class midterm presentation about a media business plan held in school in the morning
   
2. DLSU Green Media Group's 7th annual interschool digital film competition: Indie Un-Film 2010 at the SM Mall of Asia Cinema 1, from 2PM-6PM
   

The former was okay. "Great analysis, intelligently researched, but poorly presented." *SIGH* Sorry naman. Haha, not built for business courses! Hahaha. The latter, aye-yai-yai! Awesome! Looks like I didn't forget after all. So, y'all DFTBA, okay? :)

Word Vomit

Word vomit is simply a rant-fest. If you have very little patience, I suggest that you exit this page or divert from this entry, at least.

So I'll just air out a few stuff, some food for thought, the likes of which. La la la la.

I hate it when people of authority over you nag like there's no tomorrow and you don't even know why, at that. I totally get how they feel, that they just see to it that you're fully-functioning and all that. What I don't get is that you have a problem with me and you seem to suddenly divert randomly and name-drop. I can take all the sh*t they're ready to give me because I think I've been stronger, but the fact that the people I love get run over is a whole different story. I am crying buckets right now and I'm sure there will be more.

I hate it when people of authority over you try to threaten you as they turn the things that you love against you. That one thing that you are most passionate (or maybe not really) about is about to be taken from you, how would you feel about that? To make things even harder, you've already been rid of freedom to explain because of baseless assumptions, and that your life has been really great (not being sarcastic, okay) except for unreasonable provisions set upon you.

I just want to stress that I'm not in a rebelling phase. Like what a friend recently told me, it's only "inflicting injury to yourself". I totally get why you are being that way. I just don't think it's fair that people I love get involved sans reasonable cause. I don't think it's fair that I get more strangled than I always have been and the things that I value most are taken from or turned against me.

Ice Cream Therapy

Just when I tried to appreciate how nice yesterday went for me, today has been one hell of a day of stress. Maybe it's the hormones kicking in, yeah? I believe I made it clear to a lot of people around me today that I'm not one to be joked around with. I made it clear that I wasn't a grouch, either. Haha.

One of my best friends, Meryl, and I have this Ice Cream Therapy thing. Whenever things would go out of hand that it leaves us stressed and irked and frustrated and all that, ice cream is definitely the ultimate comfort food. After a crappy day, I just wished for ice cream. I was running low on cash so the best option is to just keep on wishing. Haha, sad. I went home and voila, ice cream in the freezer!

January 16, 2010 at Gelatissimo, Greenbelt 5
Oh, I didn't get Gelatissimo today. I ate ordinary chocolate ice cream you'll find in the supermarket. Aye, Gelatissimo! I wish, though.

Good Start

Midterms week. Ack!

It's Tuesday, I know, but it's technically the start of my school week (just for this one) because of the special holiday (People Power Anniversary) yesterday. In my previous blogs, I have mentioned a couple times too many about how my February weeks haven't turned out to be so great. Ergo, wishing hard that the last week of this month would turn out okay, at least.

So today, as I start this week right, I tried to be productive, see. I did normal stuff. You know, the usual class-Agno-meeting-tambay combination. Today proved to be worth all the stressful weeks that passed. Thus far, that is. I hope this week is awesome-epic-like-you-can't-imagine. Although I try not to expect a lot, I have high hopes because life makes bawi in due time like that. (Sorry for the poor grammar, brain and body's tired and is shutting down earlier than expected.)

Something extraordinary that I did today was voting for the next set of Green Media Group Executive Board.
Enough said.

To top the day off, the La Salle Dance Company - Street (LSDC-Street) invited us, the Danz Dish 5 production crew of GMG, to their post-concert celebration at the Torre Lorenzo roof deck. I got there and I saw all the LSDC-Street members/dancers in costume! How cute they all looked! They sported different looks: Avatar, Boys Over Flowers, WWE, Saw (?), and yeah, that's all I remember. Heehee.

I felt unsure as I entered because I believe I was under-dressed, you see. It took me a while, though, to realize that my white shirt topped with a navy blue vest/chaleco made me pass as one of the hosts! Jay Leno and Ellen Degeneres, go figure. Hahaha!

Ellen Degenereses: Ikat Gallardo and Cee Salvador. There are a couple more from them dressed this way but she's the one nearest me that I could grab a photo with. Haha.
[© Leia Anne Medina 2010]

Hahaha. REALLY FUNNY COINCIDENCE, MAN.

Indie Un-Film 2010

Indie Un-Film 2010
De La Salle University - Manila Green Media Group's 7th annual interschool digital film competition!

FEBRUARY 27, 2010 (Saturday)
SM Mall of Asia
Ticket price Php 150
For ticket inquiries, contact 0915-4858223

Watch out for the IUF 2010 FINALISTS!!!

Documentary Category:
ARFather [De La Salle University-Manila]
Sa Kandungan ng Kalikasan [San Juan de Letran]
ShortCut [University of the East - Caloocan]
Ang Dalawang Mukha ng Rapu-Rapu [St. Scholastica’s College]
Si Erin at Si Mavey [Ateneo de Manila University]

Feature Category:
Off Duty [Far Eastern University]
Preludio/Crepuscula rio [De La Salle Lipa]
Time Sprint [De La Salle- College of St. Benilde]
Dead-Ma [De La Salle University-Manila]
All-In [Mapua Institute of Technology]

Music Video Category:
The Bucket List - This Won’t be the Last Time We’ll Say Goodbye [De La Salle University-Manila & University of Sto. Tomas]
Daydream Cycle - Christmas is Here [Ateneo de Manila University]

I am making this shameless plug, although I doubt anyone visits my blog, haha. Please support my organization's annual digital film competition!

Personal Worst

In running, as a sport, there is such a saying as: BEATING ONE'S PERSONAL BEST. As in, "All my training paid off because I beat my personal best of 50 minutes today." It's when you break your record; your fastest time.

After almost three weeks without training, my legs gave up on me in the middle of my run. I'm quite proud, though, that even though I abuse myself with useless vices (sleeping late, erm or dawn-like-early, ingesting junk, missing proper exercise, whatnot), my breathing is better than ever. The downside, though, is that all the overworking I do with my body and all the fatigue my body is forced to face make my body parts weak. My lungs could have taken more but my legs were more than screaming at me, maybe around my third kilometer, at least. Ugh.

Well, I've gotta say. I disappointed myself today. I beat my personal worst! (If there is such a thing.) Good thing I didn't register for the Century Superbods Run at The Fort. Otherwise, I could have wasted a good amount of P600 just so I could run with Derek Ramsey, and fail at it. Hahaha!

Magnetic

I saw this while I was clicking around Tumblr. From a friend's Tumblr to another to someone random to a fan blog to another random person to this. ;)

Anonymous asked: Couple years ago, I fell in love with a girl, I'm a girl. Even before that, I felt the pull towards both sexes, but I never really acknowledged the fact that I could entertain thoughts of being lesbian, or bisexual, at least. Me and the girl dated but there was never an official "us" because I think we were both too chicken to make the first move. LOL, losers, sorry. Anyway, so I was madly in love with her more than my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with couple of years before the girl and I dated. We have never engaged in anything sexual, but it was more like an emotional relationship; we loved mutually. We weren't vocal about it cos I'm not out, and she's... Well, she never says anything about her sexuality but you can say that what we had in common was that we made people raise eyebrows. Heh-heh.

My point is that some of my friends say that I'm not bisexual until I engaged in a sexual relationship with a girl. Doesn't the loving-her-more-than-I-loved-him count? Truth be told, I had more carnal desires for her than with him. They conclude that I'm only bi-curious.

It does count. Your story is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Nothing of importance, really. I couldn't explain why I felt the urge to post this, either. You know those times when there's this weird magnetic pull around you? That's exactly what this felt like. La la la la la.

Collapse, Lay Dead, Hibernate

What is up with my February? There are only four weeks, and the third week is about to end today. The first week was one hell of a busy one. I spent the second week being sick to the bones. The third week was a no-academic-stuff-accomplished-just-pure-org-work week, which gave me more than the stress and exhaustion that I expected: two shows.

Taken last Thursday night, during the Culture X production. Yuchengco never looked this pretty until that night.

Last night, when I went to the University Week Animo Fair and Culminating Night, I felt like I wanted to collapse and lay dead and hibernate. I wish I could do just that. Hibernate! I feel like I need that now. I collapsed on my bed last night. I lay dead and slept. All that's left to do is hibernate.

But before anything else, here are some photos to show that despite insanity, I look sane. Or not? Hahaha! Well, fine. I look too damn tired.

I was telling them a funny story that happened two weeks ago. I'm really this animated when I tell people about my experiences and whatnot. I'm enjoying my mango juice, that's for sure. Haha.

Ugh. Fat cheeks plus deep, dark eye bags. Not nice. Not nice at all.

Both photos courtesy of Yanee.

I know that hibernation is a far cry right now; what with midterms week coming up and all other requirements attached to it. For sure, I would love to hibernate from GMG, even just for this week. I know I still have a lot of responsibilities despite the midterms, but I think I can put them off somehow. Even just for a week.

To make things light again, here are some photos from Friday night:

Most photos courtesy of Yanee, Lexie, and Meryl.

Sign Language 101

Today was the annual Lasallian Enrichment Alternative Program (LEAP) Day. For the past two years that I've been in La Salle, I took boring LEAP classes, I admit. Here are my reasons:

1. I wanted a LEAP activity that didn't require me to leave the campus.
2. I'm sorta scared to leave my comfort zone.
3. It's cheap. Like, I don't have to shell out money at all. Hahaha.
4. But yeah, back to #1, I'm lazy like that.

On my frosh year, I took Digital Photography. I know, I can read about that online or whatever. Besides, I'm in a communication course so they'd probably teach us that one way or another. In my defense, though, I was really into photography (and still am) and maybe I was too excited and got ahead of myself. My curriculum flowchart indicated that I was to take a photography class, a major one, on the first term of my sophomore year. But no, I was too excited. It failed me. I won't delve into details, but ugh, I was so disappointed.

Sophomore year, hello! I proclaim it the toughest time of my life. So much has happened that the new year (2009) wasn't much of a motivation for me. I was so addicted to Lomography and film and analog and la la la that time so it was a no-brainer enrolling in Lomography 101. It was interesting, but I knew that already. I've been doing it, see. I'm not being proud, I was just lazy. Heehee.

Having said that, today could be the exception! The one thing that broke the boring-LEAP-class curse: Sign Language 101! Sponsored by SC-EDGE 2008, I'm really glad I enrolled in that class. If I may say, I have been battling with a go or a no with that class since last year. I dunno why I went with a class whose topics I already knew about. This time, wow. I learned so much! The instructors may have crammed three months worth of sign language lessons into three full hours but I learned so much.

I have always wanted to be signs literate because I believe in the power of non-verbal communication. It also keeps the mind busy; searching for simple words that substitute a complex one in order to interpret it in sign.

Ah, the joys of language!

Single and Lovin' It

Eh. Photo text fail. Hahaha. So, I was asked to define love:

Love is when you need not somebody else to keep you fulfilled. Instead, it is when you are more than willing to share that fulfillment with another.

Happy Valentine's day, happy lunar new year! :)

Some Announcements

I put up my old Cbox just this evening. I didn't want to sign up for a new account since I've stuck to the old Blogger URL anyway. What I did to this blog is that I deleted every entry prior to February 9, the day I resurrected this page; clean slate, revamped! I was struggling to find out back at Cbox.ws on how to delete all my Cbox messages from more than a year ago. Man, this experience is so 2008. I was a wretched mess. Ugh. *shudder*

So for a change, I wanted to just keep all the old messages. I don't mind that the last posted message was from a year and four months ago. October 2008. Gaaahhh. It's just too much memories for me.

That's it, actually. I just wanted to say that I've a chat box again. You can hit me up there anytime. You may remain anonymous, I don't mind. Oh, and I'll be plugging my Formspring.me page. I know, I know. It must be the most self-gratifying internet page on the planet and I indulge in it. Some questions are intelligent anyway, and they make me think when I'm already idle.

La la la. I didn't plan on making this entry long.

Advanced happy Valentine's day to all those who are celebrating a day of love with their significant other! Happy Single Awareness Day to all singles and bitter herbs out there. Haha. Kung Hei Fat Choi to all my Chinese (feng yeo) friends! (Or, uhh, Qung Xi Fa Tsai, if I remember it right? Haha, my Chinese xian xi/lau shr's will kill me! Hahaha!) Pardon me if I bastardized some Chinese words. I don't mean it; just trying to revive what's "left" of my Filipino-Chinese Catholic school education. Hahaha. ☮

Signing In

It's the end of another week! It's time again to welcome the weekend with a kiss, outstretched arms, and head held high. Although it seems exaggerated, for someone to actually do that, but that's just me. This week burns sanity fibers, you know.

I cut one of my classes yesterday because I "had to" work for a production for my org (Green Media Group) and our super awesome client org (LSDC-Street). I spent two whole days getting jobs done for the production, which wasn't a lot, I admit. I've been too sick to function. Today, though, I woke up without fever! Nice. So we did the second show, Danz Dish 5, this evening. AWESOME. Just awesome.

Okay, so here's the thing. I'm just really excited for the weekend, not because it's the much-awaited (not) V-Day weekend, but because it's a time for my much-awaited (YES) rest. I need time to catch up on school work that I missed while I was busy battling coughing fits and popping paracetamols; time to do some (more) org work, too.

So, hello. I am signing in for the weekend!

Hanging On

I've been sick, battling coughing fits and popping paracetamols, since Sunday afternoon. Four days of this isn't much of a big deal, really. I've had worse days. This has been hell week so far. Add to the feverish mornings that end with wasted nights, this week should be awarded: "Hell Week of the Year" and that's only the beginning, I can tell. School is making me feel like I'm nearing midterms already; schoolwork are piling up! Work, as in org work, has been by far at its most erratic state. I'm also in an erratic financial state. I just can't seem to at least learn how to budget my allowance. Haha, that sucks, yeah? My social life is okay, nonetheless. It's steady.

Every day, I feel like giving up on my responsibilities; be it in school, with the organization, at home, la la la. But it all comes down to sleeping the stress away with a glass of milk or a mug of green tea, late night internet blahs, petty text updates with my friends back home, et cetera. In short, it all comes down to everything feeling alright when I close my eyes at night (or midnight, or dawn) after my nightly prayers preceded by random ramblings, cussing, and ranting (to myself, in silence, in the dark, haha) about what a hellhole the day felt like.

Like tonight, I was supposed to do two group works with, well, two different groups for my two classes tomorrow. I'm sooo glad I have such amazing friends (who are like my sisters, really) as groupmates. The two of them spared me and my sister-bestfriend (what haha) from absolute insanity from all the things that kept us busy.

Ah, friends. They're like presents on a Christmas morning. You already know that they're good stuff no matter how nicely or badly they're wrapped. (Not that I'm friends with badly-wrapped packages. I choose my friends, you know. I befriend beautiful people. Haha! Just kidding. I'm Miss Congeniality, for crying out loud. Bahaha! Again, I kid.)

As for the other group, of which three are guys and I'm the only estrogen, uhh, good luck, I guess? Haha. I'll settle the matter tomorrow. Before class. Major cramming, hahaha, that's what I'm good at.

Change

Hello.

My blog is reborn. Had you been a constant follower before (but I actually doubt that, haha), notice that I had the same URL and almost the same layout. Not much has changed, really. None except for the missing blogs from dear old 2008.

Since the year 2010 flew in, I have said that 2007 gave me a new soul; 2008 broke my heart; 2009 was a time of healing; and I patiently wait for whatever 2010 has to offer. Beggars can't be choosers. Besides, I think I've gone through a lot already and I'm confident that I'm ready to take on anything. Everything? Not really. Chill, cowboy, slow down. I plan to take it in stride. I still have my hangups. Hehe.

Word is that it's usually "out with the old, in with the new" when it comes to the subject of change. I never really liked change to play a role in my life. I was one who lingered in comfort zones. I learned to take risks. Yeah, that was an amazing feeling, realizing there's so much more outside my bubble. Maybe I enjoyed it too much cos I transformed into this impulsive semi-beast who does things without thinking them over. Ugh, 2008, don't remind me.

So that's when I learned that change is actually a good thing. It gets scary at times but when you get the hang of it, you'll see things in a whole different light. For me, I got more in touch with my experiential side. I never knew that my interests actually range from mundane to awesome to queer to weird to rare to la la la la la, I can go on forever.

There's a downside, though. I like change so much that my attention span got shorter. I'm a person of the extremes; I get so into something like there's nothing else that mattered but it lasts for a really short time. And then I'm back to square one. The process begins again. I'm pretty sure it won't end so soon.