A Few More Hops

I smell it. I hear it. I feel it. I see it.

A hop away and I can finally taste it! No, not the carrot, silly. Haha.

The taste of sweet success that awaits at the end of this unbelievably long, tedious, and laborious tunnel of hard work and anvils and anvils of sacrifice that rested for months too long upon my shoulders. (Whoo, what a mouthful. Of carrots, haha JK.)

I dreamed with my eyes wide open. I took a leap of faith. I ran blindfolded. I slept with my mind fully awake.

A few more hops and this bunny will get the prized carrot she has yearned for so long.

One last hurdle and my life, in the real, big, bad world, begins.

What Drives You

What gives you motivation to do something? What inspires you to start one thing and push you enough to finish it? What then sets the limit for you?

Inspiration comes in spurts, just like "eureka" or light bulb moments. It's neither an involuntary thing nor is it something you can do at will. It's just natural, and you know it when it's there, knocking at your door or waving its arms in front of your face.

As for me, a meek creature of habit (or make that short-term hobby?), I get mundane-to-insane ideas in a span of a millisecond, just like an ordinary person. But unlike the ordinary creative person, I seldom put these ideas into action. I'm a planner; I plan to do this, to eat that, to go here, to try those, and to make lists like these that go on forever. I'm not a very good doer, though. I believe that time is my biggest rival. I always find myself going against it in a manner that I can barely manage! Say, for instance, I suddenly had this bright idea to make an art project; just because! I think about it at that moment, then day and night and then over and over, make plans, start preparing to make it happen--if I get lucky to even reach that part of the process. Must be the universe or just me, but I rarely finish (or start) on my brilliant personal goals. It's very frustrating, I just realized.

Just squeezing this in, a photo of my personal command center and limited necessary equipment! Haha. (Computer, external hard drive, microphone, SD card [in slot, not visible in photo] all cramped in a tiny space in my room.)

So at the birth of a very hopeful video blog channel at YouTube, I have recently reassessed my life's goals. Well, erm, haven't really gone to that level, if you know what I mean. (No? Uh, say, career + marriage + kids kind of thing. Haha.) Anyway, yeah, I realized how passive I have been for such a long time. I do not want to think it's underachieving just because I rarely get things done because I want it for me. Right now, I am head over heels hopeful that I can finally do things with my life (and free time) because I want to do it and not because I need to or somebody tells me to. As with my previous entry, I have stated there which things you may expect from my channel and hopefully that will keep me on track!

Sure, there's thesis now and other important responsibilities despite the intensity of dedication and determination I plan to put into this current interest of mine. I won't let this hobby get in the way of my priorities but I have invested in this "personal project" (yeah, let's call it that haha) enough to see its way through continuum, and hopefully increments of that fulfilling finish!

The Final Wrap

"It's a wrap!"

You have to know how amazing that sounds. I've been saying the same phrase with the same amount of energy and conviction for six different days. Today, I overflowed with determination and hope that it will be the last time. I am confident that we have enough material to work on so that this extended time for our thesis completion will finally happen.

Although, I can never be too sure, especially when it comes to our thesis adviser's assessment of our finished product; the project that has been in the works for too long, in my honest and semi-bitter opinion, haha. Time to make this video super great! I pray that God sends down the Holy Spirit to guide us in every step that we make from now on; every minute detail. May Jesus live in my heart and keep me strong, confident, and determined... Now and forever!

Thank you to today's amazing crew: Gio San Pedro, Kay Adre, and AJ Cabrera. I'll speak for Meryl Algenio when I say: Thank you and we deeply appreciate all your help today! We love you!
Please, let this be a wrap. Let this be THE WRAP! Amen!

Holding On

Whenever I complain or consider giving up (but not really), I hear from my family and friends the overused clichés that are: "Konting tiis na lang!" or "Malapit na! Kaya yan!" or "Hang in there!"

Given the Chairman's recent adjustment of my life plan (The Adjustment Bureau reference), I can only shrug my shoulders and reply: "Well, konting tiis pa pala." or "Malayo pa, pero one at a time. Kakayanin." or "That's what I've been doing; I'm gonna hang on some more."

When you've pretty much planned your life and some undesirable circumstances try to mess with it, you're up against the natural flow of fate. Or whatever it is that's trying to set your life on track. Sometimes it's just you, but you know, you can't have everything within your reach all the time. This time, it's out of my hands.

So I've press-released to my family and closest friends that I'll be finally graduating in June 2011, and suddenly, we had to defer our thesis for another term. So I won't be graduating in June, as planned; and I shall wait for October to get my hands on that college diploma. Who knows, we might be able to produce one hell of a thesis video as we are given more time to perfect it. I felt broken and devastated but I'm back on my feet and I have more heart and motivation to still be in the race.

Because really, there's nothing more to hold on to but my own determination, hard work, and positivity.

Slow Down

My third year high school Christian Living teacher's status in Facebook this afternoon:

There will always be deadlines, pressures, and work. So ask yourself, "What did you do today that will last?" Do you live your life doing what is urgent, or doing what is important?

This made me pause. I sat back and reflected. It's always a breather to see things like this. It makes me rethink my purpose, evaluate my priorities, and fuel my motivation.

100th Entry

How apt is it to start the year with my 100th blog entry? Not as apt as ending with the 100th and starting with the 101st! But oh well, I'll have to make do with the 100th.

Anyway, we all know how New Year's Resolutions go. You make a decision to do or change something, something big and drastic, and expect to have it done with by the end of the year. Honestly, I gave up on those a long while back. Say, high school. Hehe. I make a resolution, and mid-January, bam! It's gone; either forgotten or deliberately ignored.

As I always say, 2007 was a year of adjustment and adapting. 2008 was a year of pain, loss, and a lot of sadness. 2009 was the booming year of recovery! 2010 was even better! I really know already where I should stand and for how long, how tightly or lightly to grasp at things, stuff like that. So since last year ended two days ago, and I'll have nothing much going on with my life at the top half of 2011 but thesis, OJT, and GMG, I decided to have a resolution again. But this time, I'll be really goal-oriented and specific, and I'll make sure the goals are feasible, too. Haha.

I shall add the following list to my side bar so I could tick them off one by one. It didn't work when I tried to remember it; didn't work even when I wrote it down on paper... Or that time I posted my resolution on my bedroom wall. *sigh*

• Get an SSS number
• Start running again
• Take driving lessons
• Get a driver's license
• Enroll in boxing class
• Stop eating food with high cholesterol and starch content
• Stop eating Minimize intake of sweets (ice cream, cake, chocolates, etc.) hihi
• Wake up before noon, sleep before minight
• Gradually stop bad habits (Yes, vague, I know. But this blog is public. Heehee.)
• Have a boyfriend (Oops. Valid goal, but so not a valid resolution! Haha!)

Well, that's all I could think of for now. I just hope I get the motivation I need.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Getting Old

No, it's not my birthday! Let's delay time, shall we? *snicker, chuckle* I can't afford to feel any more older. *SIGH* See, I've recently concluded my last first term as a college student. Today, my last second term started quite late with my major and only class for the term. Tell me 7:40 PM isn't late and I will glare you down. Haha.

[PHOTO HERE. It sucks that my laptop's built-in Bluetooth device isn't working. Boohoo. I promise to upload my own photo. Meanwhile, here's a similar shot borrowed from Memzie.]

First day (or night) of class ends at 9PM!

Having failed to meet my goal for the first term (which was to be in the DL for the last time, *bawl eyes out while trying to glue pieces of broken heart back together*), I am determined to make this term work. *GAME FACE ON* What the hell, I have one class! But it doesn't end there: I'm really excited and nervous at the same time because this is also my thesis term. I am hopeful for the fate of my thesis group; I see us flying to heights we dare to reach. The only challenge now, however, is where to find that leverage to bring us where we want. The thesis-organization-search begins! Let's go, Memzie and David, hustle hustle, hut-hut-hut!